Clowns In Agbada

CLOWNS IN AGBADA

We've seen rogues in agbada, at least we understand they are there to clean out the treasury or take their own large chunk of the national cake with extra topping. But when we start having clowns in agbada then you know that the wahala is bigger than the head that carries it.

EFCC introduced the whistle blowing that has made us see money that can only be housed by the federal bank in one man's backyard Abi is it cupboard sef, then we saw one oga who doesn't think it's nice to identify with his boys in the same uniform after all how will people differentiate the oga from his boys.

You see the certificate wahala that happened to oga presido that time that they were bringing different certificate for him, well now it is the Dinosaur's turn, I mean Dino Melaye or is it Daniel Melaye? Me I don't know again. This our country is so funny ehn, everybody is a comedian Abi they are even clowns sef.

Just as the Johnson suleiman matter is slowly fading off Dino the Dinosaur and oga Magu own is rising up. Certificate and say oga Dino no graduate make am wear academic gown go sitting today (Abi that is how to prove you graduated ni) me I have learnt oh, next time someone tells me I did not go to school I wee just go and buy mathset and exercise book so they will just shut up.

Please why is Magu's confirmation not working, is it that the man no sabi e work too or some people don't just want him to spoil market for them because this national cake cannot just come and go like that na.

I think I have try for today lemme go and look for my own gown too, my oga needs to know I am a graduate so he doesn't talk to me anyhow... yeye dey smell.

Diary Of a Slay Queen pt.1

DIARY OF A SLAY QUEEN                         chapter1.                                        So far my life sucks , i literarily hate my life. My name is Denora Njoku.
My friends call me berrylicious.I'm 25 and from imo state.I have a  very big problem right now,I have no where to go and nothing to wear. i pick up my iPhone and check for messages, there were none......just then my doorbell rang.I ran out to answer immediately. I heard d shriek before I saw the girl, Soma waltzed into my apartment, and yes! She goes into everywere with a flourish .                         "Bitch,there is a party this evening,all the top politicians will be there to throw cash around" . she said in a singsong voice                      "haaaaaaa,good news finally"  .it really was good news.I had started thinking of how i will spend d whole day wondering  how boring and uneventful my social life is.I mean,I literally wear clothes n take pictures outside my door to post on Instagram so my so-called friends will think my life is interesting. I opened a bottle of champagne while Soma and I toasted to our good fortune. And so I was busy thinking of how good my new Michael kors boots will go with that good American jeans when I heard d familiar buzz of my phone. it was my mom "ebele" she shouted immediately I picked,I cringed.I hate it when she calls me that,   "mama,ogini" I answered impatiently                                 "are u okay,?I had a dream oh, where are you?", she always starts every sentence with I had a dream so i really wasn't disturbed.                                       " what dream?" I asked           "you were at a party dancing one minute and the next you were lying unconscious on the floor".The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as she mentioned the party but I waved it aside, I wouldn't let one small thing ruin my social life                                   " ngwanu mama,there is no party.you and this your dreams,in fact u should go and be a prophetess "  I chided her gently hoping she will forget,she did luckily and hung up after telling me stories of how she saved so many people through her dreams. I turned to soma who pretended she hadn't heard any of that, she was a rich girl from a wealthy home who chose to live a jaded life,most times she ignores my background but sometimes she doesn't and that well ....its a story for another day. "so babe,you need to upgrade and get at least an iPhone six" she said it nonchalantly like she was asking me to change my slippers. I covered my shame with a smile.                             "you can introduce me to a rich guy tonight and that won't be a problem"  I joked ,inwardly resenting why life had to be so unfair.                                        "that is not a problem but you don't need a guy for that you know?" As Soma ratted on about the joys of being rich, My mind drifted to what my mum said about the party,I wondered what she  meant and I was willing to find out.after all,what is life...

Anonymous Writer

Dear PMB
While you were away a lot has happened both good and bad, I don't know if the people who visited you in London and those you called too while in London gave you the gist, but me in my unusual amebo ways will still tell you sha.

You know the man you put in charge made us understand that it's not as difficult as you have played it to be, like the exchange rate between dollars and naira we have since witnessed to be sky rocketing like a child feeding on beans has drastically dropped like a malnourished child.
Also our A.P whom you gave us had gone out to inspect some federal facilities that are delapitating and have ordered that they be fixed with immediate effect.
Also our economy is beginning to improve gradually even if the market people are still being greedy but we know soon enough life will be back to normal.

I almost forgot that there was a peaceful protest with no life lost (although it had nothing to do with IPOB) and talking about IPOB I heard charges against their leader the famed Nnamdi Kanu has been dropped which looks like a bright bulb in their direction.

Thank God you are back hale and hearty even if you chose to continue resting, just allow V.P Yemi Osibanjo to continue acting so far he have proven to be a very good actor and we like how this movie called Nigeria is playing at the moment, I don't know if this was the original script but we love this script or improvisation we are seeing right now.

Thanks and long live the federal republic of Nigeria.
From a concerned citizen
NWACHi