Well I think Nigeria is a country on her feet, yeah like someone ready to run off at any giving minute, but the fun thing is we have nowhere to run to, maybe not our president who have been running since he was sworn into office.
Just like everyone who is elected into public office the first hundred days is a time to curate their remarkable achievements (if any) and applaud or condemn them where necessary, but for the case of our dear Mohammadu Buhari he has set a new record as the first president ever to have stayed a complete hundred days out of office, in other words we have a president in diaspora.
Since we really can't get his achievements down in office, let us flip the coin and tell him what we seem to have achieved in his absence.
I would like to start with the arrest of the famed kidnapper who has won a lawsuit against the police for unlawful detention and denial of bail, this only shows that we all need to be successful at whatever we do, how else will a notorious criminal who has confessed to his crime come out victorious, well his case is still a long one so i'll just move on.
Then the part where we have to prep our minister of information before he really says anything is also very important, I mean he is of the suggestion we stop our local artist from shooting videos abroad when our president is already abroad sending voice note in Hausa to Nigerians, you see why we should get him fired because it is contradicting the president's beliefs (even though I don't know what he believes in)
Uhm... should I tell you about charlie boy who took 2baba's place at the famed nationwide protest and is now planning to take the place of the director of IPOB by leading on nigerians until he was tear gassed, well he was willing to die Nigeria until he realised Nigeria is not worth dying for.
Ehen! The money that was discovered at the Ikoyi apartment that no one was holding claim to please when you return ask Magu and his boys who is holding that money and if they tell you the money was used to pay for your treatment just know that they are lying because with that sum of money you should have been back to the country very hale and hearty.
Ermm... Ehen! I almost forgot, your wife almost turned this country to animal Kingdom calling people hyenas and jackals, well we didn't take it serious until they started referring to you as Lion King, all I could think of was Lai Muhammed as Timon and Rochas Okorocha as Pumba. I'm not saying all of us are animals sha but Nnamdi Kanu and his boys were almost right.
You see a lot has happened in your absence so much that I can't really say all, let me just stop here for now because it seems we and America we are on the same level because their president seems to rule them from his twitter handle.
The Lion King himself we have missed you so dearly and we hope you come back soon with some London bread or chocolate
(c) Nwachi Emmanuel
Twitter & IG: @nwachilive
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