Ghana president is jobless

In Ghana I could guess how jobless the president is if he has time to tweet about a musician who has nothing he is bringing on the table politically or growing the economy of the country then you know he has plenty of time to lay about..

I can only imagine Buhari tweeting "I'm feeling Sani Danja's music like Inakwana" seriously I don't know what inakwana means I'm sure PDP will just ask he be impeached straight away because it shows he is not working at all..

Who will blame him I can bet they have stable economy, good power supply (at least I can ignore the multiple complaints I hear about ECG) , no insurgency, the health care is just perfect and of course he enjoys listening to stonebwoy as his favorite...

Now who will blame Obama if he sings Katy Perry "I kissed a girl". As "I kissed a boy" at least we understand he is trying to promote gay rights all over the world, so what is John Dramani Mahama trying to promote abi the man don turn blogger ni...

If he so much wants to promote entertainment in Ghana he should just do like the former President of Nigeria did and donate plenty money to the industry even if he will not redeem it..

Well I so much wish Buhari will tweet @iamDbanj. "I am feeling the n***ga" and see how much we will appreciate that... Sha wetin concern me, make I shut up before these Ghanians start taking it personal

Amaechi and his hatred for money

The love of money is the root of all evil.. And judging by the fact that Rotimi Amaechi did no evil as a governor it should be assumed that he doesn't like money that I am very sure, in a recent statement from an event held on his behalf he said it repeatedly making it clear that he hates money..

"Governor Nyesom Wike has again sponsored one advert in a bid to rubbish me. Only God knows that if there is one thing I don’t like, I don’t like money. Anybody close to me knows that I don’t like money. The governor and PDP are afraid of me getting an appointment to the national executive council. The current president abhors corruption and the only way they can stop me from getting the appointment is to paint me with corruption. And the people that know me in Rivers State know that I don’t like money. In Rivers, people know I don’t like money.”

Well those were his words not mine.. Me I don't like money too but if Rt. Hon Rotimi Amaechi will just give me half of the money he hates I think I'll hate money even more than he does me I don't want all sha...
And eeerm did you see that video of him doing that interview on CNN and that wad of cash he was trying to hide? Well I think for one who hates money he has plenty of it...

Everybody knows I hate talking, my audience knows I hate talking, the people of rivers state knows I hate talking especially as a comedian but if you give me some money I'll sure talk
I think this is where I'll drop the mic just hoping the people who hates money will just dash me some..

Rochas Okorocha and the golden handshake

#RochasOkorochaAndTheGoldenHandshake
I must say I'm really proud of my Governor, I mean the great Owelle Rochas Okorocha.. He used to be a wonderful philantropist until politics gave him a new turn to life...

Having contested for presidency several times which he has not passed the primaries in all political parties he has participated in.. Gave me serious thought about how he managed to pass through primary school.. Oh I forgot then it was elementary school or was it been measured in standard that's by the way..

My major concern is his recent achievement on the global scene at least that is what it seems to his people.. I mean which serving state governor has shook hands with a leader as powerful as Obama, by the look of things he needn't do much again in the state at least they have plenty of round abouts to go round for everyone..

Incase you don't understand what I'm trying to say just take a trip to Owerri the Imo state capital and see how many billboards have been mounted by eye service loyalists or is it even the governor that asked for it to be displayed.. Well that is not my business

I heard even as a returning governor he met an empty treasury too from a government he just finished ruling.. Well all that don't even matter anymore what's more important now is that golden handshake he got from Obama I'm sure even Oshomole and Amaechi will be envious... Something is telling he hasn't washed that hand since then...

Me I'm sure I will do the same so let me just shut up and focus on my job as he is on his handshake
#SatiricalSaturday #iWriteFluently

Divorced agian

Just wife and I, no baby carriage
From the start, this was the sweetest marriage
But mama needed to change diapers
The baby cot needed an occupant
That breast milk needs a sucking mouth
And my mum thinks I'm married to a man, this I couldn't doubt

My impatience grew like I'm feeding it protein
Every night I'll beat her up, like she was a bag meant for punching
Her eyes got blacker than a freshly dyed chalkboard
Too much crying gave her eyes baggage like someone traveling abroad
She couldn't take it anymore
Staying up every night, blaming her god

We gradually grew apart like the strangers we were
Before this thing called marriage made us a pair
Hoping to have children like a nursery
But I got disappointed after five years, I gave up trying
Already have a mistress who is pregnant I told to hang on
Cause just too soon I'll join the divorce wagon

#GEJwhileyouwereaway

Went on social media and found a rather disturbing topic trending on twitter this morning #GEJwhileyouwereaway... I couldn't tell if its ignorance or sheer stupidity that would make anyone raise such a topic like GEJ was the messiah who went on break..

Maybe a lot of Nigerians have not realized that GEJ is no longer and can never be Nigeria's president ever again, cause if they do they will pray for the New Government led by President Mohammadu Buhari to do better instead of castigating a government who is yet to settle its feet on the ground..

I'm not a Pro Buhari supporter neither do I hate GEJ as much as the rest of Nigerians do but if I may ask GEJ has been both at the corridors and sitting room of power for 16 years of his adult life and yet he was called "clueless, snail paced, and a lot of horrible names not deemed fit for anyone...

Meanwhile, while GEJ was in POWER, the country incurred more debts, was labeled a terrorist state, more corrupt officers paraded freely, nobody was held responsible for any money that couldn't be accounted for and this your so called messiah did nothing to augment these situations and if he did put the country in a better situation why would he after leaving office retire to his house in LONDON, ENGLAND instead of his home town OTUEKE in BAYELSA state...

Please GEJ come back to your people don't be away in London, I know you have houses in Port Harcourt, Abuja and Bayelsa at least these I'm sure of and #GEJwhileyouwereaway I think the power sector which you lied about to Christina Amanpour is gradually improving and surprisingly EFCC is back after four years...

And please PMB we are still waiting for your ministerial list or should we suggest Ministers of the gospel to help ease the process?

A MOTHER'S CRY

Today i saw what it entails to be a mother
the cries and heart felt pains that comes under
she came out of the yard crying and pacing
asking if anyone has seen her baby
in a panic we all went searching
with rhetorical questions we keep asking
"where could he be"
"who carry am commot"
but those questions were flying without answers
and her patience was running faster
her hopes went low
as she keeps asking everyone, hoping somebody knows
but we were all as ignorant as we could be at the moment
only hoping he appears from somewhere
then somebody shouted "call pastor, maybe e carry am commot
so we did but he went out and with him the child was not
her panic grew, her eyes got redder
tears stay pouring like stormy weather
and suddenly we heard a cry coming from a neighbor's room
that is her baby just waking up too soon
and like magic, her teary eyes beams with smile
knowing her baby is still alive
but she has to wait for her neighbor to be back
before she would hold him in her loving arms
and give him the beating of his life
for giving her the mini heart attack she just survived

birthday eve

Its my birthday eve
And I could feel little me still wrapped up like a fetus in my mother's womb
Waiting for the eleventh hour when I'll break through
Not knowing what the world holds in for me
Not knowing this world would later corrupt innocent me
My mother still heavy with tiny me as a pregnancy
With her bags and all checking into a maternity
It was June the 23rd 1989
A friday it was and it almost rained that night
But no I wasn't ready yet
That womb was still comfortable for my tiny head
I'm not even aware I'm not the first of my clan
I couldn't tell if my parents for me had made any plans
But in there I know by the morning I'll be ready
To launch into a world and it will be early