licensed to preach in kaduna state

I'm putting my thoughts on display again, like I said my thoughts just my opinion. It doesn't matter if it counts or not what's important is that it shows you what I'm thinking or mostly how ridiculous I can see normal issues...
Sorry I forgot to tell you these thoughts of mine are from the most ridiculous part of my brain, I don't know if you have yours?

Now to the real reason why I was explaining myself for no particular reason to you who doesn't care, a lot has happened in just few days since my last satirical article so much to give me enough to write about but I'll just try and focus on one..

To be sincere the issue of nigerians to be paid 5000 naira by the presidency which is now not an issue any more since our president could not recall ever a time he said that and then later it was said to be the political party he was voted on that made it as part of their campaign promise and not the presidency...
I think every jobless nigerian should understand that it is a norm not to fulfil campaign promise in Nigeria yet they won't let our president enjoy his abroad trips in peace...

Next I would have talked about is the importation of grasses from Brazil which when I looked up on it has a justifiable means to that, I mean the fulani herdsmen going through people's farm and later causing a fracas that will lead to bloody deaths should be curtailed so we need foreign grasses to keep them in check, well i'll just leave it to our famed twitter senator uncle Ben Murray Bruce to handle that since we are still trying to buy Nigeria to grow naira (that is the only protein it needs to grow)

Okay now to my issue of today, the recent bill being sponsored by the governor of kaduna state to place a ban on unlicensed preachers or public display of religiosity (if that ever is a word). So my thought on this is that before you preach or do any religious gathering you have to seek for license which could be granted to you maybe if they have a knowledge of what you are gathering for in other words if you get the license and they happen to understand that you are talking down someone else's religion or inciting some negative thoughts your license could be revoked and you do two years prison term...

Funny enough we will be needing license to go to evangelism and to play gospel messages and all those church songs too...
Before you put horn speakers you should know that there will be a license for that too...

What's important right now is the fact that you may not want to whistle any church song in public anymore cause you don't know who is behind you waiting to report you to the authorities..
Well good thing this is just happening in kaduna state alone for now... Ok it's yet to be a law cause all these people who have decided to open in a ministry in the market where they now use as a daily hustle to prophesy to market women and collect offering... well the end point is that the gospel must be preached whether licensed or not and this applies to every religion not just Christians

I need to get my license before I hit kaduna state for any event cause we can't tell what they consider as gospel or not...
On this note I say goodbye

Ese Oruru; a case of Kidnap and Child Molestation

The Ese Oruru story has raised a lot of mixed reactions amongst nigerians... I have read a lot of posts about this issue with blames on the girl and the mother from people who were quick to jump into conclusion like a happy frog, without following through the real story... I am not close to both mother and daughter neither was I close to the culprit either, but from every single detail gathered from news papers that tried to give us a first hand information of the said incident, it was clear that this was a case of African voodoo used to manipulate the mind of the little girl... Like they claimed she eloped with the said yinusa guy, why are they trying to falsify her age to fit their marriage requirement.. and how come they were the ones shielding her from her mother... This is really a crazy story, this is child molestation, rape and abuse, the authorities involved should not let the culprit go unpunished or else they will be giving room for more abduction of the girl child While the story of the chibok girls abducted by boko haram is slowly fading out like cassette player on its last song justice is yet to prevail. Let's not make the Ese Oruru case just another news story with a happy ending like it's a fairy tale, prosecute whosoever is involved and let that little girl and every other child that is being held up against their will be hopeful of a better tomorrow

Whats your genre as a comedian

Over the years besides being a performing comedian, I have also taken out time to study comedy as an art in a bid to understand the undertone behind all the funniness.. and upon discovery I have found out how broad comedy is... Just like music, comedy too have genres and this genres are definitive of your style as a comedian... n/b being spontaneous is not a genre it's just an added advantage that comes with the art which enables a comedian freestyle with the audience displaying his wits... Now back to the order of the day, this genres varies according to the said style and topics a comedian chooses as his focal point of concentration.. we have satire/topical, observation, blue, black, deadpan, insult, mockumentary, wit/wordplay, surreal, sketch, sitcom, spoof, prop, physical, musical comedy, improvisational, cringe, character and alternative comedy... All of these genres cannot be done as stand up comedy. It's a definitive term to be a comedian and specifically to be a stand up comedian this is because one can be a sketch comedian, a ventriloquist or an improv comedian or you could be an actor who specialises on comedy sketch and plays only but the problem we have now is because every one who is getting into comedy is seeing stand up as the top dog so they must hold a mic and stand in front of an audience to perform and most times end up becoming an embarrassment to the art... Comedy looks like a stupid venture but it takes a smart mind to create humour out of bizarre situations like death, accidents, earthquake, economic crunch, political drama or sometimes create a whole non-existing character and make funny stories out of it... Like Jeff Ross the king of roast who would go to prison and make jokes out inmates and yet not causing an uproar... Although my best genre of comedy is satire, and observation it's like an eye opener to certain things the society is aware of but could not see differently so as a comedian you have to give them your own point of view and make them see things the way it ought to be... You also have to understand that these genres where created by humans living as a matter of fact it is out of consistency that people could be able to say that this is a genre or style of comedy.. in other words you too can create your own genre, stick to it and make the world accept it for what it is... I think this is where I drop the pen and fall the stool as I take a voluntary bow out of the stage #goodnight and God bless Nwachi is the name

why the dollar is bigger than the naira

See how interesting the presidential race for the u.s presidency is all contestants talking about how to end the looming crisis facing the American state and people making choices based on how convinced they are about a candidate...

 Wait for 2019 when we will have another bout of election in Nigeria, all you will be hearing is propaganda and blame game on either political parties and we will have over 20 parties that will be confusing us on who to vote for not to talk about sycophants that will not let us hear word don't forget the bribes they will be giving to voters just to get them on their side knowing for a fact that their supposed candidate is not convincingly good enough for the position he is vying for...

 Well what's my own. After all this post cannot make our president sit at home and make sure 1 dollar doesn't equals 1000 naira... besides these trips are very beneficial to us after all those countries he is visiting their presidents are too lazy to travel so our president needs to visit them and foster relationships that are better than stabilising our economy... I rest my case

Ben bruce and the common sense revolution

It is just normal I make common sense on the blog today, please don't get me wrong I am not against the common sense revolution or the Nigerian youth in government but just like our famed twitter senator I'm only trying to make sense out of it all...

Senator Ben Murray Bruce is just like me, point is we are both trying our best to put the government of the day in check, difference is, I only have a small blog with less viewers while he on the other hand runs a media empire where his voice is widely heard, Ok that is a huge difference between us...
I like the idea that he is opening the mind of the common man to see what the government which he is a part of should have done but is not doing and he is using his influence in the media world to get this out there inciting a social media revolution
Now my point is uncle Ben Bruce have been in Nigeria for a long while and I get to know about him when he was the DG of NTA (at least that was when NTA was exciting to watch) all these things he is trying to make common sense about did not begin with this Buhari/ osinbanjo government and they have been there before he became a senator
At least he would have seen these and began his common sense revolution before becoming a senator of the federal republic, I would say it only makes common sense if we have been hearing his social media wailing before now and how much impact these wailings have made on us
This is how Adams oshiomole began his political career from his NLC days and incessant strikes which miraculously have reduced since he left the Nigerian Labour Congress and became a governor the change we could see was a new wife...
We've had a lot of wailing wailers who did not contribute a quota to the society after we gave them the mandate to hold public office and ended up becoming the same problem they've been complaining about
Uncle Ben Bruce should try and understand that if he makes all the common sense on TV and radio and could not put any as a bill to pass in the house of reps then it all becomes a senseless speech which is garnering social media publicity for another campaign
Whether twitter senator or twitter orubebe we all know every nigerian was born selfish and we only pursue a cause for our personal needs and I don't want to believe that all these common sense is a campaign ad for a presidential election in the future
Uncle Ben Bruce aka twitter senator I love your ideologies, I appreciate everything you have opened our eyes to see even now that you are clamouring for youth in government we as the Nigerian youth we deeply appreciate you but before you went for senate you should have asked if any youth is willing to be a senator it won't be bad if you step down for a youth to represent your constituency too
I hope I have made common sense too and one twitter orubebe will not carry my matter for e head like jerry curl, all of us na common sense we dey find..
I am not Ben Murray Bruce but I just want to make common sense

#EFCCGATE ; how broke can nigeria be

I am one person who is finding it really hard to mind my business these days especially when it has to do with the government of the day, but come to think of it democracy being the 

government of the people and by the people and for the people... I am one of the governed in a democratic state I think the business of the government is my business so i'll mind it 

And today's business is on the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, news reaching me from the Attorney general of the federation Mr. Abubakar Malami  is that EFCC has been recovering looted funds and so far it's a reasonable amount of money good enough to begin a new country

more than $2tn has been confiscated and recovered’ in the last 12 years by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.”

Like I said anybody who wishes to own a country can do that with such amount judging from the current exchange rate you can own two countries with that...

Ok back to being serious, if we have recovered this amount so far how come the money never reflects on our economy, and why will our president tell us upon resumption of office that we are broke...

You see? There is a lot to how much we can achieve if we have less greed in this country I'm telling you, 

Now we are being faced with the budget and allocations from what we are hearing there is a 10 billion naira that is hiding in the education section of the budget, I wonder if the money is shy... 

Even after the whole drama and all our education sector is still lagging far behind and we will keep churning out graduate who can not tell there left from right especially when it comes to being practical, ofcourse finding X has helped Mr president to ascend his throne of leadership (what I'm I even writing sef, I mean the office of presidency) 

Please EFCC release the $2 trillion to Buhari or better still Dasuki if we can't use it for national growth let us share it as national cake...

I'm hoping we can get #EFCCgate since #dasukigate seems to be closing gradually and #laimuhammedgate doesn't seems like it's opening any time soon, all I'm saying is there should just be a  gate...

Well I'm a nigerian who is trying to mind my business, this may not make common sense to you like Ben Bruce but just agree with me anyway #midweeksatire #satiricalposts

The Nigerian Change we've been waiting for

2016 so far have been an interesting year just at the beginning of it...
This post would have come out rather earlier than this but we just have to wait a bit and let the year unfold more of its drama, sorry for the delay and at the same time thanks for the wait...

So much have happened in such a fresh year that you may one to think it's been planned from the previous year, while the Dasuki gate was still open Olisa metuh walked right through giving the story a new plot and scheme for onlookers like us and from the bail option giving to Mr Metuh you can tell that the FG is out for serious business, they are not just in a bid to recover money but also to make profit..

And from what it seems like now I think the famous Radio Biafra has voluntarily shut down on its own with their leader or director in custody no one could fit in properly to the position of insulting the federal government or other
Nigerians for no sane reason.. well until his release let our
ears enjoy peace and a little sanity

And just when we thought Kogi state has gone out of limelight they returned yesterday as the first Nigerian state to swear in a governor without a deputy, clearly enough the said deputy governor has opted out of the position with claims that after the party flag bearer died while contesting for the seat of governor he the then running mate was supposed to be the party next candidate but his party on the other hand felt he was only good enough as an assistant and not a front man rather they choose someone else instead for
 replacement and retained him as deputy..
So on the swearing date he claimed he did not get an invite well who would have thought of inviting a man to his own inauguration, i'll blame them for forgetting to send him an invite though

Moving on to changing a few things around here what a way the federal government would have ushered us into the new year than giving us the much needed change, GEJ did not do bad with the 10 naira change he gave us during his tenure from the price of petrol and now the real change agents are
making sure we leave every petrol station with 50 kobo change.. the reduction of the price of petrol from 87 naira to 86 naira 50 kobo is so much needed that Nigerians forgot to say thank you to Mr. President for his overwhelming kind gesture

In trying to make common sense I have been trying so hard so how much of it I could make from the production of pencils in a society that prints and gadgets are taking over, to some few Nigerians it's like a welcome development at least we can boast of producing something but why not
think about something that can help Grow the society instead of what is going out of style I see how backward we are trying to catch up with the rest of the world

If there is anything that we must not forget it's the Nigerian budget that got missing from the Senate like a primary school child whose note got stolen from his school bag, although we cannot tell which party is to be blamed for it but it's rather ridiculous to hear we couldn't find our budget, though on the hand I was less surprised I mean if we could be able to loose over 200 girls for more than a year now is it just a mere paper (although with the dependency of Nigerians on it) that we can't loss?

And finally rivers state is rejoicing over the victory of Gov. Wike aka daddy wiks, I'm happy too but not for him at least life will return to normal in rivers state, but daddy wiks should be very careful before Lai muhammad will allege that he used rivers money to set up WIKEPEDIA
My pencil is almost finished let me stop now and wait till they'll produce the first pencil in Nigeria and for the taking its just my satirical mind speaking this is not my real face or post or whatever