Craze World part3

To think that we are all sane in a crazy world, further defines our craziness.
Well to begin with a sound mind you first need to be educated and thanks to the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) everyone stands the chance to getting a university education. Well they could have done worse but they choose to do better by lowering their standards, instead of the average of 170 or 180 as the case may be the dropped it down low to 120 meaning every dick, tom and Harry stands a good chance of a university education.
While a couple of Nigerians are not pleased with this new development, a couple few who knew their best shot could not exceed 150 marks are already feeling like students who would merit the admission.
Now for one like the JAMB twitter handle may put it "it does not automatic admission" which means schools and colleges still have the deciding factor to your destiny.
Now the big question is why reduce the cut off mark when it won't play any role in the admission process. Now I see what they are trying to do. Be the good guys and make the universities and colleges the bad guys, that was well played JAMB.

Moving on to something uneducated but sincerely needs our prayers and donations as well. Flood victims in Benue state Nigeria, well I could say while there is Hurricane Harvey in Houston, it is no different for the people of Benue state who are experiencing same situation just that the people of Houston are receiving relief aid from top celebrities and people outside Houston meanwhile here in Nigeria... well, it is well.
A certain facebook user has claims that she wanted to send some relief material to the people in Benue state and after calling the said person in charge, she was told he can't take official calls while on holidays, meaning whatever she wants to send over should take a chill pill until he is done eating his sallah ram and whatever keeps him going for the holiday. Now you see how important it is to have uninterrupted holiday with office work.
Well since we can't get the name of the said NEMA official we could let this slide too and let the people in Benue state wait till the holiday is over, assuming we decided to further the holiday then it is sure no one gets any relief support until it is not necessary anymore.

Now to presidential issues and this time it has nothing to do with rats trust me.
The minister for women affairs and social development Aisha Alhassan aka Mama Taraba has declared her love for former vice president Atiku abubakar whilst serving president Buhari, Ok she didn't declare her love but she has chosen to support Atiku come 2019 should Buhari choose to be re-elected in office, now that's a woman speaking against injustice and equality and fairness, or was she speaking for her godfather?
According to claims it was said her choice of Abubakar was predicated on the fact that the former Vice President is her “godfather.” well that's one strong activist.
Now you wonder why this is crazy, well Buhari is a member of All Progressive Congress (I'm sure he doesn't know that's what APC means) whilst Atiku is a member of the newly formed coalition party APDP (hope I'm right about that). So you see? It's like playing for Arsenal and supporting Leicester City (well with the way arsenal is playing now, this might be possible).
Now people are going against her for speaking up for the women, who are being relegated to the back by Buhari bid for a 2nd tenure.

Over to some entertainment at least we could use this to ease off the tensions of presidential tussle.
D'banj or skillbanj or capella or whatever he has added to his moniker now, in a recent interview made claims to have signed Davido in 2014 with a rolex watch and letting him go on claims his parents wanted him to be through with school first.
Well even if Davido has come out to say there was no signing but he was gifted a rolex watch by the big fish (eja nla). Now everyone who must have been gifted by the king 'don come should know you are an unofficial member of DB records.
Just wondering if Davido was signed with a piece of watch what would k-switch be signed with, a plate of food?
Now before I rest my pen, I encountered the most outrageous souvenir to be given in an event, you might say I'm crazy but whoever gives out condoms in a funeral must be......
Well it's a craze world and we definitely fit perfectly into our wards.
IG/twitter @nwachilive
Facebook.com/nwachilive

Lazy Comedians

In a world were creatives are suppose to be kings, the lazy one are the ones eating fat...
That is a case of the comedy industry in Nigeria, where the up and coming believe so much in mediocres than the real people. Comedy as easy as it is the most tasking job anyone can venture into it in entertainment and if you are not as creative as being funny then you are just tagging on with the rest of the mediocres parading as kings.

The first step to becoming a comedian is to be funny but then it's not a business of foolery, so you have to come up with your own intellectual materials to be able to stay afloat in the business, but then there are a couple few who believed nobody owns the joke so they can just pick a joke from anyone and you at will.
The truth is most comics are mediocres besides being lazy and it just happened that some of them are smart thieves and have good access to use of the media, so it's easy for them to have wide spread of the stolen materials than the original owners themselves.
It is beyond stand-up who could take from a smaller comic and perform it in front of a large audience with a wider coverage thus making it look like he owns it, which they even go as far as sharing on YouTube and to their followers on IG. Now they have started making short funny videos as well known as skits which dey would pick any joke from a comedian and use it for the skit which sometimes travel more than the standup performance.
One shocking one was a joke I heard in a show and the next week I watched it as a skit from a different comedian.

The solution here is simple, you can employ people who would help you generate content as well as write jokes for you.
Soon jokes will be copyrighted and people will not be lenient with these anymore.
If you can't create jokes quit the business or get someone to do that for you.
Twitter/IG: @nwachilive

Craze World -Episode One

Craze world (a piece of my mind)
This is just a snippet of the first episode...

It's really a craze world and indeed Nigeria is the capital

Craze World episode 2

How can we describe the craziness of this world without using Nigeria as a case study.

Well the good news is our president is back after a 100 days medical vacation, I think he deserves a resounding welcome ceremony or hold on the governor of Kogi state already gave him one, I mean having a public holiday declared to celebrate the return of the "Lion King" is worth it.
Now the only problem is the "Lion" has been chased out of his office by mere rodents that would have served as his appetiser or desert (depending on how he feeds though).
Well his spokesperson told us he has to work from home now which means no FEC meeting or if any would be held it has to be like a house fellowship service (hopefully they'll serve cabin biscuit and groundnuts when they finish). Now I can only wonder how they would resolve the ongoing annual ASUU strike (students you can only pray fir a new president).
My thoughts though how come nobody cared to check on his office while he was away, you see, it's because of eye service.

On to other weightier issues, a said student of uniport who killed and mutilated an eight year old girl and was arrested by some vigilante group which he was later handed to the police, news came in that he has escaped from the police state CID office. Well, how ever he did that is what is leaving everyone in awe.
If it had been from one of the local police stations with less security it would have been a case do different but this is the most secured police station and yet an unarmed man vanished into thin air (maybe what of jazz he was planning to do has started working for him, well who can tell?)
It is still a shocking tale because even the police men there couldn't tell how it happened.

On to something more serious than vanishing people, somehow I ran into a flyer design where the government or whoever is in charge of transport empowerment in Bayelsa state is training 100 persons for driving lessons.
Well what can we say at least the government is working, remember they had an assembly member donate floating toilets oh sorry she built them now they are training drivers, I'm sure the young people there can't afford to pay for driving schools or it is much burdened to them to have them learn to drive so the government is making sure that dream come through.
You may say I have a loud mouth but so does the people of Bayelsa do have a big heart for digital development.

Just to leave our ladies with something really important to ponder on.
The famed cross dresser Bobrisky aka oshey baddest has just bagged an endorsement from a hair company where as we have over a million slay queen that won't let go of their snap chat buttons, if you are thinking what I'm thinking then it's time we all start trying lipsticks and mascara who knows who might get lucky next.
And on this note i'll just leave you here in this craze world while I sneak back in to my ward before the cyber dictators come for me.

100 days in London (a President in Diaspora)

Just at a time when we think we deserve better, should I say we got the best of everything wrong?
Well I think Nigeria is a country on her feet, yeah like someone ready to run off at any giving minute, but the fun thing is we have nowhere to run to, maybe not our president who have been running since he was sworn into office.

Just like everyone who is elected into public office the first hundred days is a time to curate their remarkable achievements (if any) and applaud or condemn them where necessary, but for the case of our dear Mohammadu Buhari he has set a new record as the first president ever to have stayed a complete hundred days out of office, in other words we have a president in diaspora.
Since we really can't get his achievements down in office, let us flip the coin and tell him what we seem to have achieved in his absence.
I would like to start with the arrest of the famed kidnapper who has won a lawsuit against the police for unlawful detention and denial of bail, this only shows that we all need to be successful at whatever we do, how else will a notorious criminal who has confessed to his crime come out victorious, well his case is still a long one so i'll just move on.

Then the part where we have to prep our minister of information before he really says anything is also very important, I mean he is of the suggestion we stop our local artist from shooting videos abroad when our president is already abroad sending voice note in Hausa to Nigerians, you see why we should get him fired because it is contradicting the president's beliefs (even though I don't know what he believes in)

Uhm... should I tell you about charlie boy who took 2baba's place at the famed nationwide protest and is now planning to take the place of the director of IPOB by leading on nigerians until he was tear gassed, well he was willing to die Nigeria until he realised Nigeria is not worth dying for.

Ehen! The money that was discovered at the Ikoyi apartment that no one was holding claim to please when you return ask Magu and his boys who is holding that money and if they tell you the money was used to pay for your treatment just know that they are lying because with that sum of money you should have been back to the country very hale and hearty.

Ermm... Ehen! I almost forgot, your wife almost turned this country to animal Kingdom calling people hyenas and jackals, well we didn't take it serious until they started referring to you as Lion King, all I could think of was Lai Muhammed as Timon and Rochas Okorocha as Pumba. I'm not saying all of us are animals sha but Nnamdi Kanu and his boys were almost right.

You see a lot has happened in your absence so much that I can't really say all, let me just stop here for now because it seems we and America we are on the same level because their president seems to rule them from his twitter handle.

The Lion King himself we have missed you so dearly and we hope you come back soon with some London bread or chocolate
(c) Nwachi Emmanuel
Twitter & IG: @nwachilive

"Can comedy be taught in school?" this was a serious question I was asked over the weekend, and it got me thinking how noble does the society see stand up comedy. 

Over the years stand-up comedy has become one of the biggest force in entertainment especially here in Nigeria, well over the western world it has brought fame and fortune to a lot of people from different generations, but here in Nigeria do we see comedy as a noble profession?

Before Ali Baba who is the frontier of urban contemporary stand up comedy became rich and famous through cracking jokes, comedy was never seen as a job, I mean nobody could professionally say I am a comedian and there was no room created to fit in people with the talent of humour. Then Ali Baba rose to fame and prominence which also saw the likes of Julius Agwu and Uche Ogbuagwu who had comedy tapes respectively to sell their brands too and well... if not piracy, made a little fortune off it but yet it is unheard of to tell your parents that you want to become a stand-up comedian in the near future. 

The formative years followed with the arrival of stand-up comedy concerts which was organised by Opa Williams with the then biggest and only comedy brand known all over Nigeria "Night of a Thousand Laugh" that saw the emergence of Basket Mouth, I Go Dye, Maleke, I Go Save, MC Basket Mouth, Mike Ogbolosinga and host of many others. This was just a platform to stardom for some of these guys, though some fell off on the way and probably others just got tired of joking around and decided to do something "meaningful" with their lives. 

But a few of these names went on to establish themselves as superstars in the industry thus creating a brand name for themselves, like basket mouth who would later go on to create his own comedy concert "Lord of The Ribs" and "BasketMouth Uncensored". 

Then a new generation emerged that will see the likes of AY, Buchi, Bovi, Gordons, and a host of others who came at a time comedy could be seen as a business which could be tried if you can't succeed in the corporate world but then people are already making some small fortune off the humour business. Well at this stage your family could give you a little encouragement if they can spot some small potential in you but then you have to go to the university in case you won't succeed in making people laugh. 

But as time changes it seems the society begins to see comedy beyond jesting and clowning and now sees it as performing art where people could become professional and make good money out of it. 

Now comedy is the second biggest thing next to music in Nigeria and corporate bodies have gone as far as investing in it, thus creating a business environment where talent can be traded. 

But the question still remains "can comedy be taught in schools Just like music and painting? 

In my fair opinion I think to make it more organised and reduce the number of mediocrity in the business, stand-up comedy should be taught in school just as we go to learn theatre art. 

(c)Nwachi Emmanuel 

Craze World

This world is a crazy place and Nigeria is the capital, you may want to argue it but who cares if a mad man argues with himself.

You see a country where the president absconded for more than 90 days and it's still perfectly Ok, yeah we have an actor in president or is it acting president sef.
We could complain for all we care but it's a good record for us though the first country to celebrate its president's 100 days out of office isn't that crazy enough?
Abi is it the part where his doctor in London claims he doesn't know the cause of his ailment, me I just think that man is running from something.

A protest was held in Abuja seeking the health of the President and the protesters (I hope that is correct) was tear gassed and chased away, the same Abuja another group held a protest claiming the president is perfectly Ok and shouldn't be disturbed, or was it the part we were told we have no right to seek the nature of the health if the president who is a public servant because in their own word he is a private citizen. You see how we dey craze reach.

A best graduating student from medical department was awarded the sum of 10,000 naira and the amount was displayed on a banner big enough to be used as a mattress the same week an olosho was demanding 20,000 for a one night stand and you say we no dey craze, seriously how crazy can this world go again.

Seriously all of us dey craze it's just that our ward just looks sane.