2016 so far have been an interesting year just at the beginning of it...
This post would have come out rather earlier than this but we just have to wait a bit and let the year unfold more of its drama, sorry for the delay and at the same time thanks for the wait...
So much have happened in such a fresh year that you may one to think it's been planned from the previous year, while the Dasuki gate was still open Olisa metuh walked right through giving the story a new plot and scheme for onlookers like us and from the bail option giving to Mr Metuh you can tell that the FG is out for serious business, they are not just in a bid to recover money but also to make profit..
And from what it seems like now I think the famous Radio Biafra has voluntarily shut down on its own with their leader or director in custody no one could fit in properly to the position of insulting the federal government or other
Nigerians for no sane reason.. well until his release let our
ears enjoy peace and a little sanity
And just when we thought Kogi state has gone out of limelight they returned yesterday as the first Nigerian state to swear in a governor without a deputy, clearly enough the said deputy governor has opted out of the position with claims that after the party flag bearer died while contesting for the seat of governor he the then running mate was supposed to be the party next candidate but his party on the other hand felt he was only good enough as an assistant and not a front man rather they choose someone else instead for
replacement and retained him as deputy..
So on the swearing date he claimed he did not get an invite well who would have thought of inviting a man to his own inauguration, i'll blame them for forgetting to send him an invite though
Moving on to changing a few things around here what a way the federal government would have ushered us into the new year than giving us the much needed change, GEJ did not do bad with the 10 naira change he gave us during his tenure from the price of petrol and now the real change agents are
making sure we leave every petrol station with 50 kobo change.. the reduction of the price of petrol from 87 naira to 86 naira 50 kobo is so much needed that Nigerians forgot to say thank you to Mr. President for his overwhelming kind gesture
In trying to make common sense I have been trying so hard so how much of it I could make from the production of pencils in a society that prints and gadgets are taking over, to some few Nigerians it's like a welcome development at least we can boast of producing something but why not
think about something that can help Grow the society instead of what is going out of style I see how backward we are trying to catch up with the rest of the world
If there is anything that we must not forget it's the Nigerian budget that got missing from the Senate like a primary school child whose note got stolen from his school bag, although we cannot tell which party is to be blamed for it but it's rather ridiculous to hear we couldn't find our budget, though on the hand I was less surprised I mean if we could be able to loose over 200 girls for more than a year now is it just a mere paper (although with the dependency of Nigerians on it) that we can't loss?
And finally rivers state is rejoicing over the victory of Gov. Wike aka daddy wiks, I'm happy too but not for him at least life will return to normal in rivers state, but daddy wiks should be very careful before Lai muhammad will allege that he used rivers money to set up WIKEPEDIA
My pencil is almost finished let me stop now and wait till they'll produce the first pencil in Nigeria and for the taking its just my satirical mind speaking this is not my real face or post or whatever
Thursday, 28 January 2016
Saturday, 26 December 2015
Very Merry Christmas
From the chimney of your heart
I come with my pen-deer like claus santa
Bringing you this little gift of smile
Cause you've been a good friend through this mile
I have to wait till the night is silent
And the stars are brightly shinning
So I can write you this poem as...
I wish you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
I come with my pen-deer like claus santa
Bringing you this little gift of smile
Cause you've been a good friend through this mile
I have to wait till the night is silent
And the stars are brightly shinning
So I can write you this poem as...
I wish you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
The Government is Irresponsible
Finally we have come to the last Saturday of the year 2015, which by the way doesn't sound like a good news to a lot of single women who probably have gotten prophecies that the year will not end without them being in their husband's house well unfortunately for some of them we can not declare the year inconclusive and have a rerun...
But of all things I think 2015 was an interesting year especially in the Nigerian political scene. Today i just want recall some of the ridiculous moments. I'll start with the late Abubakar Audu of blessed memory well his case though tragic but was funny at the same (this is what theatre art practitioners call tragicomedy). Don't go judging me on this one you should at least analyse the situation with me, a man who is close to becoming the governor of his state die just few hours before the final result could be announced (I call this one DOA "death on arrival").
It would have ended there but his supposed deputy governor refused to rerun as a deputy governor to who ever was to be chosen by the political party as replacement, which to me was rather ironic choosing to the fact that he has agreed on first hand to be a deputy governor so why decline now, well na e sabi
Next was the case of Mr president appointing himself as petroleum minister and there was a heavy fuel scarcity over the nation well if that was the so much preached change we were expecting then I think we got it wrong... and talking about change I think the bus drivers and conductors will not agree with them judging by the lack of change for passengers who travel with them...
Meanwhile, why we were busy crying about fuel scarcity they opened Dasuki's gate revealing a list of names that benefited from a certain money released on security bill from the past government.. it was quite an interesting list though with names of high ranking government officials and business men, including people who were tipped for services rendered, it was a huge amount of money though and the way it went round you could bet that was the national cake we've so much heard about since we were little.. well for all I could say about this case is that Dasuki is such a snitch I mean who would mention everybody's name just to save his neck... I am more careful about who I collect money from these days before someone Dasuki on me...
Finally before I sign out for the year I just want to say thank you to every one who has been reading my posts.. you are the main reason I write every Saturday and midweek maybe not every Saturday but at least every time I write..
And I think we have an irresponsible government, please don't get me wrong the government has never claimed responsibility on anything that has happened in this country rather they said Jonathan is responsible if you think I'm lying ask Lai Muhammed
I think I need to stop here before I run out of ink and this one our law makers now know how to use social media after spending tax payers money on learning how to now they want to lock us up for talking about the government...
I think I've said too much let me give peace a chance and #prayfornigeria to get better and catch you on the flip side of 2016 with more satirical post
But of all things I think 2015 was an interesting year especially in the Nigerian political scene. Today i just want recall some of the ridiculous moments. I'll start with the late Abubakar Audu of blessed memory well his case though tragic but was funny at the same (this is what theatre art practitioners call tragicomedy). Don't go judging me on this one you should at least analyse the situation with me, a man who is close to becoming the governor of his state die just few hours before the final result could be announced (I call this one DOA "death on arrival").
It would have ended there but his supposed deputy governor refused to rerun as a deputy governor to who ever was to be chosen by the political party as replacement, which to me was rather ironic choosing to the fact that he has agreed on first hand to be a deputy governor so why decline now, well na e sabi
Next was the case of Mr president appointing himself as petroleum minister and there was a heavy fuel scarcity over the nation well if that was the so much preached change we were expecting then I think we got it wrong... and talking about change I think the bus drivers and conductors will not agree with them judging by the lack of change for passengers who travel with them...
Meanwhile, why we were busy crying about fuel scarcity they opened Dasuki's gate revealing a list of names that benefited from a certain money released on security bill from the past government.. it was quite an interesting list though with names of high ranking government officials and business men, including people who were tipped for services rendered, it was a huge amount of money though and the way it went round you could bet that was the national cake we've so much heard about since we were little.. well for all I could say about this case is that Dasuki is such a snitch I mean who would mention everybody's name just to save his neck... I am more careful about who I collect money from these days before someone Dasuki on me...
Finally before I sign out for the year I just want to say thank you to every one who has been reading my posts.. you are the main reason I write every Saturday and midweek maybe not every Saturday but at least every time I write..
And I think we have an irresponsible government, please don't get me wrong the government has never claimed responsibility on anything that has happened in this country rather they said Jonathan is responsible if you think I'm lying ask Lai Muhammed
I think I need to stop here before I run out of ink and this one our law makers now know how to use social media after spending tax payers money on learning how to now they want to lock us up for talking about the government...
I think I've said too much let me give peace a chance and #prayfornigeria to get better and catch you on the flip side of 2016 with more satirical post
Wednesday, 9 December 2015
Buhari's Fund Raising Agenda
After a very long break I'm taking my time out to disturb your little peace. It is no longer news that Nigeria as a nation is very broke, I mean can't pay salary broke in fact state governors are working on cutting down minimum wage from eighteen thousand naira to only God knows what (as if 18,000 is not meagre enough), just to keep up with the salary scheme..
But from the look of things I think the Federal Government is seriously working on stabilising the economy at least if not making it better than it was, I guess this will explain all the foreign trips that the president cum petroleum minister and (foreign affairs minister) had to put that in bracket cause it's not his real office but I think on the other hand his foreign trips are yielding fruits at least Lai Muhammad cannot lie about that one..
From what I've noticed he has developed a fund raising technique which besides fighting corruption and retrieving looted funds from corrupt office holders is imposing fines indirectly, MTN nigeria was the first victim and then they brought the anti social media bill which is still undergoing scrutiny in the Senate which if passed the penalty is two million naira fine or two years in prison what a fine strategy of making money for the government....
Now my recent concern is the announcement made by the minister if works and power Babatunde Fashola informing us that the toll gate which was long gone and forgotten will be doing a come back like a fugitive on exile that is due to return, and I guess they are expecting us Nigerians to embrace it with open arms, I think that is a very good development taking us to the future where every country in the world is standing right now....
Me what is my own sef, I don't even have a car and I so love the future Nigeria is creating for us, come to think of it FG will not pay us that five thousand naira at least we would have used it to buy data and post on social media maybe by now they would have made their first two million and how would they have gotten any culprit since they claim they don't have our datas...
Let me stop before they come and arrest me for slander and my ink is almost finished Ok bye... will be back with more satire.
But from the look of things I think the Federal Government is seriously working on stabilising the economy at least if not making it better than it was, I guess this will explain all the foreign trips that the president cum petroleum minister and (foreign affairs minister) had to put that in bracket cause it's not his real office but I think on the other hand his foreign trips are yielding fruits at least Lai Muhammad cannot lie about that one..
From what I've noticed he has developed a fund raising technique which besides fighting corruption and retrieving looted funds from corrupt office holders is imposing fines indirectly, MTN nigeria was the first victim and then they brought the anti social media bill which is still undergoing scrutiny in the Senate which if passed the penalty is two million naira fine or two years in prison what a fine strategy of making money for the government....
Now my recent concern is the announcement made by the minister if works and power Babatunde Fashola informing us that the toll gate which was long gone and forgotten will be doing a come back like a fugitive on exile that is due to return, and I guess they are expecting us Nigerians to embrace it with open arms, I think that is a very good development taking us to the future where every country in the world is standing right now....
Me what is my own sef, I don't even have a car and I so love the future Nigeria is creating for us, come to think of it FG will not pay us that five thousand naira at least we would have used it to buy data and post on social media maybe by now they would have made their first two million and how would they have gotten any culprit since they claim they don't have our datas...
Let me stop before they come and arrest me for slander and my ink is almost finished Ok bye... will be back with more satire.
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
Oshiomole, Blame It On The Rainfall
Been a while I wrote anything so ridiculous, been on a personal break and busy with a whole lot of other things but right now I'm breaking the silence like Adelle..
Ok enough of me nothing ridiculous has happened to me but Oshiomole on the other helped me broke my silence ...
I have admired this man in the Pro NLC days. All the activism and fight for the rights of the common man or should I say he has been campaigning for the post of the Governor and he has been using the NLC as a good channel to proclaim his course.. Which he won by the way
Well the major reason why he is visiting the blog today was because of what I heard him say, that rain has been the major reason why he hasn't done much in terms of infrastructure in Edo State for the past 7 years..
I know Lucky Igbenedion wasn't the best of Governor but at least he didn't blame the rain or too much sunshine for his lack of performance as a governor, and to think of it there is constant supply of rain here in Rivers State yet even the recently self elected Governor.(i.e in the context of APC and Dakuku Peterside) has done a lot of work than the activist cum Politician Oshiomole can actually boast of...
Well I'm forced to believe him on that judging with the fact that the rains did not stop him from getting a new and beautiful wife, which has helped him to bring alive the epic disney story "Beauty and the Beast" or is that the princess and frog? I was thinking it was Shrek and Princess Fiona, whatever. Maybe anytime it rains he remembers he has a new wife he can't leave alone
Back to serious issues, I guess since he inherited an ancient town maybe he is trying to preserve the original nature of the Ancient city of Benin, this is a better excuse only if he has thought of it first,
In the mean time, can someone help tell the minister of petroleum that we are suffering here, bus fare has gone up and people are trekking to save some distance..
And don't forget to #PrayforNigeria as you are #PrayingForParis cause this is as serious as any terrorist attack
I'm done... let me drop my pen and put on my safari khaki suit as I hope rains will not stop you from this
Ok enough of me nothing ridiculous has happened to me but Oshiomole on the other helped me broke my silence ...
I have admired this man in the Pro NLC days. All the activism and fight for the rights of the common man or should I say he has been campaigning for the post of the Governor and he has been using the NLC as a good channel to proclaim his course.. Which he won by the way
Well the major reason why he is visiting the blog today was because of what I heard him say, that rain has been the major reason why he hasn't done much in terms of infrastructure in Edo State for the past 7 years..
I know Lucky Igbenedion wasn't the best of Governor but at least he didn't blame the rain or too much sunshine for his lack of performance as a governor, and to think of it there is constant supply of rain here in Rivers State yet even the recently self elected Governor.(i.e in the context of APC and Dakuku Peterside) has done a lot of work than the activist cum Politician Oshiomole can actually boast of...
Well I'm forced to believe him on that judging with the fact that the rains did not stop him from getting a new and beautiful wife, which has helped him to bring alive the epic disney story "Beauty and the Beast" or is that the princess and frog? I was thinking it was Shrek and Princess Fiona, whatever. Maybe anytime it rains he remembers he has a new wife he can't leave alone
Back to serious issues, I guess since he inherited an ancient town maybe he is trying to preserve the original nature of the Ancient city of Benin, this is a better excuse only if he has thought of it first,
In the mean time, can someone help tell the minister of petroleum that we are suffering here, bus fare has gone up and people are trekking to save some distance..
And don't forget to #PrayforNigeria as you are #PrayingForParis cause this is as serious as any terrorist attack
I'm done... let me drop my pen and put on my safari khaki suit as I hope rains will not stop you from this
Saturday, 24 October 2015
Lai Muhammed's idea of winning a war
I've been trying to block out all ridiculousness for some time now but its really difficult to do so... I mean with the IPOB protest in Rivers State that has APC and PDP accusing themselves of plotting an unrest in the State..
The ministerial screening with Fashola denying signing a cheque and Amaechi insisting that he hates corruption and the FG giving the famous Boko Haram sect their final, final, final warning (you know how we use to say it when we was still small) but of all Lai Mohammed is like my game changer now..
"Increase in Boko Haram bombing means we are winning the war" those were his words not mine, just a bit confused though I thought with the killings of more boko haram members we should say we are winning and not the other way round but who am I to say other wise, if the presidential spokes man thinks loosing more lives to the sect is winning the war then we might as well start popping champagne every time a bomb goes off in a public place..
I don't know his qualification as a person and the criteria of which he was chosen to make statement but I can see another Reuben Abati repeating itself, this was the same kind of issues we were getting during the GEJ tenure, the kind of report that get you thinking if this people have anything called a brain and if they do, does it really work..
Well I'm done talking about Lai Mohammed, let me just shut up before someone nullify's my blog and thinking about the rivers state situation all I can say is this is just karma.. Wike + Amaechi - Omehia, Amaechi + Dakuku - Wike...
I rest my case
The ministerial screening with Fashola denying signing a cheque and Amaechi insisting that he hates corruption and the FG giving the famous Boko Haram sect their final, final, final warning (you know how we use to say it when we was still small) but of all Lai Mohammed is like my game changer now..
"Increase in Boko Haram bombing means we are winning the war" those were his words not mine, just a bit confused though I thought with the killings of more boko haram members we should say we are winning and not the other way round but who am I to say other wise, if the presidential spokes man thinks loosing more lives to the sect is winning the war then we might as well start popping champagne every time a bomb goes off in a public place..
I don't know his qualification as a person and the criteria of which he was chosen to make statement but I can see another Reuben Abati repeating itself, this was the same kind of issues we were getting during the GEJ tenure, the kind of report that get you thinking if this people have anything called a brain and if they do, does it really work..
Well I'm done talking about Lai Mohammed, let me just shut up before someone nullify's my blog and thinking about the rivers state situation all I can say is this is just karma.. Wike + Amaechi - Omehia, Amaechi + Dakuku - Wike...
I rest my case
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
Allison Madueke- richest black woman
Since the news of the arrest of former Petroleum Minister Allison Deiziani- Madueke there have been a lot of mixed feelings so far from Nigerians... Some are disregarding the NEWS as being false, some thinks she is innocent and others believed she is guilty...
I know one may ask what's my take on this but the truth is I don't really have a take on it, I just think if she is found guilty she should be prosecuted if not she should be freed and be apologized to for the humiliation and harassment but to think of the said amount she was caught with then one has to really pry into this issue...
Well reporters can be really terrible at reporting news how can you say she was caught with £13 billion cash in her hand bag.. I mean do you know the quantity of cash that is? That is an outrageous amount of money... I'm sure by now Oprah Winfrey and Alakija will be thinking how come nobody has ever mentioned Deiziani in the Forbes list and making them feel like they are really rich
If the UK court reported that they seized £27, 000 I think that is an understandable or should I say reasonable amount of money but £13 billion??? I mean with that kind of money she can just walk straight into Bucking ham palace and give the Queen a dirty slap and the queen will appreciate her for it
Come to think of the fact that during her time as Petroleum Minister there was a lot of misappropriation of funds in the ministry as heard on the news... I have been wondering why the president is announcing himself as the next petroleum minister until I started hearing the kind of money involved...
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he is going in to collect his own money well the truth is I don't know why he is going in sha I just don't want to point accusing fingers yet but if he is so keen on becoming a minister then one would suggest he be Minister of Defense judging from the insurgency which is currently a problem to the currently and the fact that he was an Army General but he chose petroleum in the stead.. Well na im sabi
Me I'm just here waiting for the senate to commence screening as I will watch the President take his turn in the ministerial screening as our new Petroleum Minister...
Erm where is my popcorn and coke sef this film suppose make sense..
I know one may ask what's my take on this but the truth is I don't really have a take on it, I just think if she is found guilty she should be prosecuted if not she should be freed and be apologized to for the humiliation and harassment but to think of the said amount she was caught with then one has to really pry into this issue...
Well reporters can be really terrible at reporting news how can you say she was caught with £13 billion cash in her hand bag.. I mean do you know the quantity of cash that is? That is an outrageous amount of money... I'm sure by now Oprah Winfrey and Alakija will be thinking how come nobody has ever mentioned Deiziani in the Forbes list and making them feel like they are really rich
If the UK court reported that they seized £27, 000 I think that is an understandable or should I say reasonable amount of money but £13 billion??? I mean with that kind of money she can just walk straight into Bucking ham palace and give the Queen a dirty slap and the queen will appreciate her for it
Come to think of the fact that during her time as Petroleum Minister there was a lot of misappropriation of funds in the ministry as heard on the news... I have been wondering why the president is announcing himself as the next petroleum minister until I started hearing the kind of money involved...
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he is going in to collect his own money well the truth is I don't know why he is going in sha I just don't want to point accusing fingers yet but if he is so keen on becoming a minister then one would suggest he be Minister of Defense judging from the insurgency which is currently a problem to the currently and the fact that he was an Army General but he chose petroleum in the stead.. Well na im sabi
Me I'm just here waiting for the senate to commence screening as I will watch the President take his turn in the ministerial screening as our new Petroleum Minister...
Erm where is my popcorn and coke sef this film suppose make sense..
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