Autism Is Better Than Madness

It's not every time we write about the ills of the society, sometimes when we see a good deed done by a Nigerian whether notable or not at least we should grace them with a little acknowledgement..

Today I saw one of the most amazing things that could go viral if photos were taken and posted online.. a certain young man suffering from autism who goes around in a popular market in the city of port harcourt preaching to market women and anyone who cares to listen..
Actually at a point I stopped believing in what these people do cause most of them have turned it into money making venture but I still think though there are a few genuine ones..
Well that is not my focus for now, the young autistic preacher today was giving out clothes to certain man I believed to be mentally deranged.. because he is not a politician or some celebrity he could not get a camera man to film it so he could brag about his generosity but I saw smiles on his face with a proof of joy that he is doing something good.

The moral here is that you don't really need to be super rich to affect a life.. you can bless people even with the little you have..
I think I learnt more than enough from this, if you think you are better than someone don't just laugh at them or scorn them help them out and they'll be happy you did...
The man with autism just proved himself better than the mad man

Man On A Pole; Put the Blame on Fashola

If you've seen the movie man on the ledge, yeah that one that have Sam Worthington on it... yeah that movie he climbed a very high building threatening to kill himself and then there was serious negotiation going on to save his life, then you will relate perfectly fine to what I'm about to write now...

Just few days ago a man climbed the top of a high tension pole threatening to kill himself if he wasn't giving 5 million naira..
That was risky you will say but let's take a little chill pill and reflect on some things that really got me thinking...

In such a situation there will be some negotiation which is supposed to bring this man to his senses and make him come down..
Then one will ask again how did he climb to the top of the pole with a bare body and was even standing on the wires... that is a first point of insult to Fashola, former Lagos State governor and current minister of power..
How? You will ask... it is his duty that there should be steady power supply, Ok maybe not steady but at least there should be power supply no matter how faint it may be and if he could climb there and is still alive to make demands then something is really wrong somewhere..

Well let's not cast all blames on fashola at least it wasn't until yesterday our budget of change was signed and they are yet to mobilise the allocation to every ministry and parastatal... it is totally not his fault
Maybe we should blame Ambode for that, or let's just leave the blames and focus on why the negotiation didn't work in the man's favour...

From what I heard, he was attended to by the state fire service and the police who was just trying to be a good citizen... but since the man was insisting on his 5 million naira and they themselves they are not earning five million naira even in a full year they decided to leave the man there... after all no be them send am to climb pole, and even if the money come sef wetin be there cut inside... someone will ask why didn't the government give in to his demands... well when that man climbed that pole our budget is yet to be signed so there was no allocation for suicide yet, Abi from which ministry would they have paid him from..

But the real truth is that nobody wants to die at all... else why would you go and climb electric pole when there is no light and you kukuma know say dem no go bring the light too... remember teebillz, ehn Aunty tiwa husband Shey him too say he wants to kill himself then e announce am on social media first..
If you want to die is it not to write suicide not and unlock your phone then you kill yourself and someone will find your body..

I am sure if that pole man had succeed by now people will be dragging space on poles..
Me I cannot come and go and kee myself on top nepa pole..
#satiricalsaturday

NEW JOB ALERT; Lai Muhammed and the masqueraders

After a very long break, I think Lai muhammed knows how to bring one out of hiding..
I have been trying so hard to ignore all the ridiculous issues that've been popping up like Google ads in Nigeria but I think this one is a huge masquerade I can't ignore...

When Labran Maku made that statement about Goodluck Jonathan bringing facebook to Nigeria, I was thinking he is the most misinformed minister of information but since the arrival of uncle Lai Muhammed I just can't place anything worse anymore...

Besides a lot of ridiculous statements he has made in recent times I think the masquerade jobs is the king of all for now though (he still has three more years before we are sure of no more ridiculous statements)
Well I wouldn't blame him much, if our minister of science and technology could be thinking of pencils in a digital age while won't Lai Muhammed think of bringing back masquerades, I think the man thought of his old job and how beneficial it was to him back then in the village and decided to solve nigeria's looming problem of unemployment by suggesting styling a masquerade...

I'm sure swanky jerry will be thinking about this new job offer by now..
I mean one masquerade equals one thousand jobs, judging from how much these masquerades make from their parade you can bet the salary will be enviable and soon enough there will be ministry of masquerade dressing...

Me I'm even jobless sef... being a comedian doesn't pay as much as you could think anymore since they started probing people and right now the second option is to go to mother's village in Ebonyi state, they have plenty of masquerade there lemme see if I can secure one well payed job there...

Please if you are related to any of the senators with the new SUV, I wouldn't mind a ride in one of them while I await my masquerade job. #midweeksatire